Mornings

I love that photographs can have such a story behind them . . . how in the second of taking the photograph there are so many things happening all at once and you can choose to speak those things or you can leave them silent.  I feel like speaking this moment because it's a moment of learning for me.  I am always quite critical of pictures of myself, so I'll avoid being in the picture because I haven't done my hair, I feel fat, I don't have any make-up on . . . you name it, I have the excuse.  I have begun to realize, though, that I'm missing out on being in photos with my little Beansprout!  It was this post about "leaving proof" from Under the Sycamore that really shocked me into reality.  I don't think Beansprout will look back at photos of me and think, "why wasn't she wearing any make-up?"  So, I have a new goal of taking time to capture moments with my little guy.

I love that I was able to capture this small part of our morning together.  As Beansprout was finishing his breakfast, I laid my head on my arms while keeping him company.  He is really into mimicking everything we do now (for better and worse!) and followed suit.  I beam when I see this photo now!  Regardless of the fact that it's not my best time of day, I love the look on my face as I peer at him!  Of course, I also can't resist those big brown eyes of his!  Lesson learned!

There are the days, when getting ready for work doesn't always go so well . . . I put it all off because we are painting or playing with trains or because I've spent too much time trying to go through my Google reader while also reading Beansprout some books!  And it's these days when Beansprout needs the extra attention I don't have time for.  I work really hard to stay attuned to my little guy, but I always start to get a super panicky feeling when I can see things going awry on this kind of morning.  It starts simple -- Beansprout doesn't want me to be in the bathroom, Beansprout doesn't want me to blow dry my hair, and then it quickly spirals into crying that requires me to pick him up and comfort him.  I hear myself saying things that sound pretty much like Impatience.  Last week we had one of those days.  Luckily for me it was after I was almost completely ready so I was able to spend those extra minutes with him that often end up gaining me more minutes in the end.  As I was holding him in the middle of all of this, I recalled the lesson again!  How lucky am I to have such a snuggle bug???  Click . . . click . . . click.